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Dear Horror Writers: It’s Time to Stop Relying on Colossally Stupid Protagonists

Michael

There’s a massive difference between a horror protagonist making a bad decision under pressure and a horror protagonist acting like they completely forgot how survival works.

One is human. The other is just lazy bullshit screenwriting. And lately, way too many horror movies are leaning hard on that second option.

This is all brought on because I recently watched Dolly with my wife, and let me say this right up front. Fabianne Therese acts her ass off in this flick and does absolutely everything she can to sell what the script asks of her. But she isn’t the problem, the problem is her character, Macy. Macy keeps making choices that are so bafflingly stupid they stop feeling like genuine character behavior and start feeling like pure screenwriting desperation.  At one point, my wife got so pissed off, she started doomscrolling instead of watching the movie.  

That right there is exactly where my patience with this trope officially ran out.

This isn’t just a Dolly problem. It’s a horror problem, and has been for decades. It’s one of the genre’s laziest and most frustrating habits. Instead of creating real suspense through atmosphere, character, or situation, too many movies now lean on protagonists making one outrageously dumb decision after another just to keep the plot moving.

I already know the defense. People panic, human beings are flawed, and fear scrambles your brain. In reality, if a masked killer was chasing us, most of us probably wouldn’t be as smart as we are watching from our seats. Panic can absolutely cause people to misread a situation or fumble something important. But screenwriters cash this in like a blank check. 

Audiences deserve more credit than that. Honestly, human beings deserve more credit than that. We’re built to survive. Fight or flight isn’t just some catchphrase we throw around. It’s hardwired right into our DNA.

Look, I know it takes a hell of a lot more effort to write smart characters, but it also leads to significantly better movies. I’m begging you to stop relying on colossally stupid protagonists.  There’s only so much a viewer can take before the illusion completely shatters

To prove my point, here are five times characters made incredibly dumbass choices just so the writers could get to the next scene.

5. The Strangers Trilogy

The new Strangers trilogy relies entirely on its protagonist constantly crashing cars, blowing escapes, and wandering right back into danger. At a certain point, the suspense dies and you are just pissed off. Madelaine Petsch deserves better.

4. Tarot (2024)

A group of friends finds a spooky tarot deck, and the main character immediately ignores her own golden rule to never use someone else’s cards. Once the curse starts, the whole group actively ignores explicit warnings and practically walks right into their own deaths just so the plot can happen. Check out our own Tyler Nichols review here.

3. Speak No Evil (2022)

A family finally escapes a terrifying situation at a remote house and drives away to safety. When their kid realizes they left a stuffed bunny behind, instead of saying tough shit, the parents actually turn the car around and go back to the psycho house. You lose all sympathy right there.

2. Scream (2022) & Scream 7 (2026)

Oh Dewey, how they did you dirty. Dewey is a seasoned cop who survived four massacres, yet he walks directly into stab range of a knocked out Ghostface and then looks down at his ringing phone. Then in Scream 7, Mindy, a smart character who knows her shit, randomly lures everyone to a local bar away from safety just so the writers can get a cool set piece. It takes you completely out of the movie.  I will say, though, I personally loved the movie (call me out on it, I don’t give a shit).

1. I Know What You Did Last Summer

The absolute GOAT of dumb choices. Helen Shivers fights like hell, outsmarts the killer, and makes it out to an alley just inches away from a safe, crowded parade. Instead of running into the crowd, she just stops, turns around, and waits for the killer to catch up and murder her. She did all the hard work and the script just decided it was time to die. Absolute bullshit.

The list could go on.

Look, I’m not asking for full on realism.  We watch these things as a form of escapism.  Horror thrives on pressure and taking people to the absolute edge.

Screenwriters, this is your assignment:  let your characters fight, think, adapt, and be resourceful. Then show me that it still wasn’t enough. Do the harder thing and write villains who can beat smart people. Aim a little higher, is all I’m asking.  Don’t give us anymore reasons to watch a silly reel on IG or TikTok during your film.

What character moments come to mind for you?  Let us know in the comments!

The post Dear Horror Writers: It’s Time to Stop Relying on Colossally Stupid Protagonists appeared first on JoBlo.

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